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Adjusting to life with three kids in the middle of

Adjusting to life with three kids in the middle of a global pandemic and a massive energetic shift really hasn’t been easy.

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve struggled. Some days, especially recently, I really have been struggling - on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. It’s been hard, it really has been.

Social media doesn’t really help either. Everyone likes to show they’re living their best life but in the midst of that, they seem to lose sight of all that makes us human. Myself included.

To be human is to acknowledge the whole of our experience, every single part of it. The joys, the struggles, the peace, the pain. And today, this is me acknowledging that being a mum is effing hard. That barely having any time alone is effing hard. That sometimes, just being human and living in this world is effing HARD.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful nor unappreciative of every single part of this experience that the Lord has blessed me with. Because I really am grateful, as hard as it can be sometimes. I know that all of this is moulding me into all that I am. I know that the heat I feel sometimes is burning away the parts of me that are no longer needed as I grow and move forward.

And the biggest thing of all is that I have been blessed with three beautiful little teachers. Little guides that show me the beauty and peace that lies in just being. Little beings that wake up with smiles on their faces and jump out of bed, just happy in this moment. Little people that have no qualms about sharing their wants and needs openly; that are content in their human existence, regardless of what is going on around them.

So yeah, I have struggled and sometimes I still do. But I am learning to see God in everything - in absolutely everything. And this is why no matter where life takes me, I know always that God is with me. And because of that I will never, ever give up.

Alhamdulillah for everything.🙏🏽✨💛 #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #Motherhood #SpiritualGrowth #SpiritualJourney #HealingJourney #BeingHuman #WritersofInstagram

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My Sheikh once said to me, when I sat there broken

My Sheikh once said to me, when I sat there broken before him, to “become so strong that nothing can break you”. And as I journey through life, every time I am tested, every time I find myself exposed and broken and open on the floor, I hear his voice inside my heart. “Become so strong that nothing can break you.”. “Become so strong that nothing can break you.”

Even when I feel broken, when I feel that there’s no way forward, when I can’t see any light within the darkness, even when I feel that I may as well just give up, I hear his voice. And somehow it helps to bring me from the floor to my knees. And somehow it helps to bring me from my knees to standing, albeit shakily, on my feet. The strength of his words lift me up whenever I have fallen. They remind me that although this life and other humans may beat me, even when they try in every way to defeat me, there is no way that anything can break me.

Even though his physical form has transformed, I know that his spirit is with me, his soul is everywhere, and his Light… oh his Light continues to shine so, so brightly and continues to illuminate the way, even when I find myself so very lost.

He said “become so strong that nothing can break you”. And every time I find myself breaking, I realise that life is strengthening me so that nothing can destroy me. I have my Lord with me and my Sheikh guiding me every single step of the way. They give me strength. They give me courage. And they always remind me, that when God is within your heart, nothing can touch you.

So although life hurts at times, and even though I still sometimes find myself on my knees, I am becoming so strong that nothing can break me.

My dear Sheikh - I am finally becoming so strong that nothing can break me.

19/08/2021

#SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #SheikhAlyNDaw #WritersofInstagram

‘Sabr’ is such a powerful, deep concept with m

‘Sabr’ is such a powerful, deep concept with multitudes of layers and dimensions. A concept that if we are able to grasp on a deeper level and practise in our everyday lives, could lead to a much more connected, peaceful, purposeful life.

🔗Read “The Art of Sabr: A Practice that Goes Beyond Patience” to find out what I’ve discovered about Sabr on my blog, through the link in my bio.✨💛 #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #NewBlogpost #Sabr

Jihad. ✨🙏🏽💛 #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourn

Jihad. ✨🙏🏽💛 #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #WritersofInstagram #Jihad

One of @medium ‘s writing prompts last week was:

One of @medium ‘s writing prompts last week was: ‘Who owes you an apology?’ and it immediately got me thinking about the state of victimhood and how so many of us choose to remain in it. (You can DM me for the link to my response to the prompt.)

We hold on to past hurt and grievances; we allow bitterness and resentment to make a home in our hearts; we tell ourselves that the other person is in the wrong and we have no part to play.

But the honest truth is, no matter what has happened to us we always have a part to play: we always have a part to play in our own healing.

Holding on to the pain and remaining a victim is a choice. But healing is also a choice. Forgiveness is also a choice.

Holding on is only ever hurting us. But through forgiving, letting go, retaining the lessons and moving on in our lives, we are setting OURSELVES free - and who knows how many others, in the process.

Don’t forget what’s happened - but do forgive it.

Open up your heart and let the bitterness, hate and resentment spill out. Open up your heart and let light, love and forgiveness in.

Free yourself, my friend.

Your healing is in your hands. Your healing is only ever in YOUR hands. ✨💛🙏🏽 #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #WritersofInstagram #TodaysMeditation

You alone we ask for help. 🙏🏽💛✨ #SabahI

You alone we ask for help. 🙏🏽💛✨ #SabahIsmail #ThisSoulJourney #WritersofInstagram

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