I love spending time alone. I always have; ever since being a small curly-haired little girl drawing pictures of her daddy in coloured crayons to today, being a 28-year-old woman (hair more of a frizzy, humidified mess) who desperately yearns for just a few stolen moments in which her mind, body and soul can breathe.
Ever since giving birth to our second child just over 8 weeks ago, I can honestly say up until yesterday, I have not spent a moment without her besides from going to the toilet or showering. There has not been a moment where I have been totally alone without either of my 2 children, without having to shush them, without having to check whether they’re breathing and without having to worry about them being okay.
Yesterday, after a few days of crazy cyclonic weather here in Mauritius, we decided to venture out – the four of us – mama, papa, two children. I desperately needed a couple of art supplies, so in the car we headed to my favourite art store (I say favourite, but it’s one of only two that I know exist on the island). Miraculously, en route both children fell asleep, so my husband parked the car and said to me, “You go in, do your thing, we’ll wait here.” OH EM GEE. FREEDOM.
I can honestly say the 2 minute walk to the art shop, the quick look around the beautiful little artistic haven (that actually makes my heart purr, I’m serious), the rapid chat with the cashier and the 2 minute walk back to the car with the wind blowing in my hair like I was in some kind of L’oreal advert – and all this time being completely ALONE – felt absolutely amazing. AMAZING. I’m actually smiling typing this. Crazy? I know.
Motherhood can flip your life up and down and around in ways you never even thought possible. Yes, it’s wonderful, but at the same time it can be extremely stifling and utterly exhausting, especially when you are a creative who needs time alone to allow ideas to come, flow and manifest. So as blessed as I know I am and as blessed as all parents may be, I guess what I’m trying to say today is: to anyone that does not yet have the responsibility of little people, don’t only enjoy your time alone but revel in it, cherish it, praise it, love it and bloody well make the most of it – because a time will come, and I’m sure it will, where like me you will crave for it again.
Everybody needs to be alone sometimes, right? (I should so write a song.)