Gut Punches & Keeping Faith
I read the words in the business email I’d received earlier that morning, and although I knew it was coming, it still felt like someone had taken a giant, iron fist and punched me right in the gut. This has happened before and I’ve definitely been there before; but this time round, I couldn’t help but feel that this was just meant to be.
You see, when something comes along and knocks us off our feet (and not in that whole romantic head-over-heels in love kinda way), it can be hard, especially when you feel like you’re already down and you’re being pushed down even further. It’s so easy to get caught up in the darkness, and in the victim state of “why do bad things always happen to me?” and in eating tremendous amounts of chocolate/ice-cream/crisps (*delete as appropriate*) to enable you to continue wallowing in your own sea of self-pity – but how many of us actually stop to understand and be present in our current situation, and accept it for what it is?
For me, particularly in this last month or so, there have been more lows than there have been highs. Having begun to build a life and business in Mauritius, only to have come back to England on holiday, and ending up staying and re-evaluating everything in my life so far – it’s been a bit of a whirlwind. Leaving behind our home, most of our physical possessions, our son’s school, the kids’ routine and new friends among many other things, to be back in England where we don’t have anything of our own anymore, is a strange feeling to say the least. But you know what? As uncertain as our situation seems, I’m not sad or down or depressed about any of it. Let me tell you why.
Everything that is happening in my life right now – the many doors that are closing or have closed – are all preparing me for what is to come. The last couple of years, I have been really focussing and meditating on what it is that I want to achieve through this life I’ve been gifted – and particularly for the past 4/5 months or so, I have been praying for and affirming the life I wish to live. I feel like this time of my life is truly building my strength, my determination and my character for the life that is on its way to me – and slowly but surely, God is sifting out and removing things that are not aligned with my path and life purpose.
Receiving that business email the other day ending a contract for work that I am really good at but doesn’t truly make my heart sing (and like I’ve already mentioned, this has happened before), was a definite blessing in disguise – even though it did leave me feeling like I’d been punched in the stomach for around 24 hours. It took for me to sit down that evening in meditation and prayer, to understand that this is what I’ve been praying for all along. I have been praying all along for my life to be filled with doing the things I love; to earn a living from doing what I love and to live this life fully and presently in each and every moment. So how can I complain when I am getting exactly what I’ve asked for?
So to anyone that is going through what seems to them as a low point in their life right now – know and believe that everything is aligning perfectly for you on your journey. Sometimes we don’t get what we ask or pray for straight away, because we deserve so much more than that. We don’t get what we want straight away because we deserve the journey; it is during the process and the journey to attaining it where our character and our strength is formed and we become even closer to becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be – and isn’t that what life is about, after all?
Keep faith through the gut punches and the dark times – it is all a part of your journey towards everything you have ever dreamed of. I promise.