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A 4th and a 1st Birthday

A 4th and a 1st Birthday

I feel like I literally blinked and in that time, suddenly my birthday month turned into the birthday month of my babies; both of who turned out to be unexpected and surprising little bundles of not just joy, but hard work, perseverance and a test of my patience...

Speaking to the Sky

Speaking to the Sky

Everything is so busy. I stopped for a moment. Breathed in the mystical air of day meeting night, and looked up to the sky – ever changing in those moments, a myriad of watercolour; strokes being brushed, swaying this way and that, before my very eyes.

Be Careful What You Pray For…

Be Careful What You Pray For…

They say be careful what you wish for. I say, be careful what you pray for. I am learning every single day the enormity of the love that God has for me. But when I tell you it is through struggle and fear and gut wrenching inner turmoil that His love presents itself,...

Somewhere on a Park Bench

Somewhere on a Park Bench

Here I am, sitting on a park bench in the country that is my new home. The rustling of the trees, the hypnotic crashing sounds of the waterfall just behind me along with the sweetest birdsong, sends shivers down my spine: I feel peace. True peace. I think of my life...

He Found Me Lost

He Found Me Lost

To find your way, you must first lose your way. And when I tell you I was lost, I was so, so lost. You see, they brought me up telling me I was this religion and this is how we do things. They told me not to do this and not to do that, and to be ever fearful. They...

Transform

Transform

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." ~ C.G. Jung This quote...

Hidden Ego

Hidden Ego

This past week or so, has been extremely reflective. I am learning more and more everyday about the subtleties of the ego and how they arise without us even being aware. Sometimes the ego presents itself as as a need to be right; sometimes as the need to give an...

Journey Home. 

Journey Home. 

Some days nothing is more difficult than the battle being fought within yourself. Where your thoughts and ideas are at war with your beliefs and ideologies. Where all of a sudden you find yourself questioning everything you have ever known to reach a place where there...

Dark Spring

Dark Spring

It was like the whole world had gone dark. Not just the kind of darkness you get when the moon rises and the world falls asleep, but the kind of darkness which sneaks into every single nook and cranny and wound and open crevice of your bruised and battered soul. Not...

The Wound is Where the Light Enters You

The Wound is Where the Light Enters You

I prayed to be destroyed; to be ruined; for everything I have ever known to be shattered into a million unrecognisable pieces - in order for me to know You. So how can I complain, when all I have prayed for is slowly but surely coming true?

Superheroes, Water Bugs and Dragonflies

Superheroes, Water Bugs and Dragonflies

Today, a gorgeous 3-year-old superhero with a golden mane of angelic curls, a soul even more beautiful and a spirit so strong it could take on the world, was laid to rest. I attended his church memorial service and it was the first time I had ever been to such an...

One Human Race

One Human Race

Last night, I watched a documentary about the Ku Klux Klan‬. I think we all know that they are blatantly and quite proudly racist as hell, but seriously, looking deeper in, some of their ideologies are actually absurd. As they marched the streets shouting "white...

uncomfortable familiarity.

uncomfortable familiarity.

When you feel like you do not really belong anywhere here, remember ultimately you do not belong to this world.  You have come from and are returning to so much more. Keep faith.

echoes in the night.

echoes in the night.

In the silence of the night I hear the naked echoes of my soul as it leaves my body to speak to You It is the most natural thing I have ever known Me returning to You I am always returning to You Because without You I cannot be found And without You I cannot be saved...

Why I Fast

Why I Fast

Last week, my fourteen-year-old nephew loudly proclaimed, “I can’t wait for Ramadan! Samosas, pakoras… all that nice food!”. I smiled, and looked at him. “Ramadan isn’t all about that nice food though darling,” I said. “Do you know why we actually fast?” He looked at...

Proximity

Proximity

It is in those times: the times when your soul is in anguish, screaming out for a saviour, crying out for someone, anyone, to run to you and bring back those long lost broken pieces of your heart... And it is in those times: the times when your soul is free and...

Sunday Thoughts

Sunday Thoughts

It's just, sometimes you can't help but wonder where things went wrong - trust me, I know. The lovers that left... the friends that showed their true colours... the family that turned their backs. All of those people that promised you forever, but disappeared in the...

Rebirth Struggles.

Rebirth Struggles.

Every single day, He tests me. He brings out things from the deepest depths of me, which I didn't even know existed: good and bad. Sometimes it's such a struggle - the struggle with yourself. But there's one thing I must always keep in mind: blessed are the ones who...

I choose Love.

I choose Love.

I chose to walk this way because I want to walk this way: a path laid with thorns and roses, where to experience the beauty I must get pricked, before I eventually reach the Light. You see, I choose to want a life where I feel every single sorrow in order to feel...

21st Century Noah’s Ark

21st Century Noah’s Ark

Today I watched the movie Noah. It’s a very rare occurrence that I ever get to watch a movie in peace anymore; what, with a 1 year old that doesn’t sleep very well and hasn’t slept very well since he was born. But these are the joys of motherhood: sacrificing your own...

An Alien Conversation

An Alien Conversation

Today I had an extremely deep conversation... about aliens. So there we were, my husband and I, sitting across from each at the kitchen table, bright streaks of Mauritian sunshine streaming in through the window, enjoying breakfast together in those few stolen moments...

Broken Glass

Broken Glass

Today I broke a glass. It wasn’t just any old glass though. For those of you who know me, you’ll know that I have a little henna and henna product business called Beyond Henna. I’d been working hard on a customer order for a lady all the way in Qatar; she’d asked for...

Death by Masseuse

Death by Masseuse

Today I went for a massage. I lay there face down on the massage table, cheek pressed a little too firmly against the towel cushioning my head, or cushioning my face as it really was, and my mind began to wander. I know the whole point of getting a massage is to...

Road to Light

Road to Light

The road to light is not easy, and no-one ever claimed that it was. You take your first step after awakening and you know what it is that you want, so you begin walking. And you walk and walk a few hundred miles and you realise that nothing has changed - it is then...

A Place Called Pout

A Place Called Pout

Away from it all, in a place where time never was, Peaceful. No torment or violence afflicted from the outside world and therefore, no torment afflicted within; A place where I didn't even know my soul yearned to be.   Back to the Earth, back to humanity, back to God:...

Broken Light

Broken Light

Your head is bowed in prostration; your hands raised in perfect prayer towards the skies; your eyes seeping seamlessly with tears... You're broken inside, oh-so-broken. You're begging Him to fix you, to take this pain inside your heart, to fill your blackened heart...

New Eyes

New Eyes

I open my eyes for the very first time. Well, for what feels like the very first time. I have been asleep for far too long. Look at what I’ve been missing. I am dressed simply, in a plain white sheet draped across me and around me, covering and protecting my purity. I...

Traveller

Traveller

Gliding past, I float through turbulence My head is bowed to the skies Wind rushes past me Sweet, soft, comforting Lights flash all around me Red, yellow, green Green, yellow, red I see faces, hundreds of faces Eyes tell me stories; scars convey their pain Yet, too...

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