As a British Asian self-employed mother-of-two who is on her own spiritual path, you can trust that I have a lot to talk about. Here you will find posts about my life and personal experiences across the spectrum, all with a focus on the lessons I have learnt in the hope that they can help someone else out there too.

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A 4th and a 1st Birthday

A 4th and a 1st Birthday

I feel like I literally blinked and in that time, suddenly my birthday month turned into the birthday month of my babies; both of who turned out to be unexpected and surprising little bundles of not just joy, but hard work, perseverance and a test of my patience...

My Brand New Look Blog & Finally Learning to Believe in Myself

My Brand New Look Blog & Finally Learning to Believe in Myself

So, here we are! My first post on my brand new look blog which, let’s be real, has been a bloody long time coming. As far back as I can remember, I have always been an avid writer – particularly writing to express my emotions. Whenever I felt sad or confused or...

#MeToo

#MeToo

We know how powerful hashtags can be in this day and age. Hashtags can inspire and they can create movements. Hashtags can begin conversations and instigate change. And some hashtags can even break us, make us, unite us and then do all of the above and more. Today I...

Accepting the Death of my Father

Accepting the Death of my Father

The thought of losing someone you love is probably one of the scariest things you can imagine. It’s the connotations that surround the taboo subject of death I suppose; you just don’t know what it is, what has happened to them and how you are going to survive without them in your life. You don’t know… until it happens to you.

My First Year in Mauritius

My First Year in Mauritius

Taking the decision to leave all I had ever known and move countries was one of the biggest decisions I have ever had to make.

A Mother-to-Daughter Responsibility

A Mother-to-Daughter Responsibility

I cradle my baby girl in my arms. An old soul new to this world. I look at her in wonder and amazement, her beautiful little face in a place so far away – blissful. And then I think of the responsibility that lies upon my shoulders.

Speaking to the Sky

Speaking to the Sky

Everything is so busy. I stopped for a moment. Breathed in the mystical air of day meeting night, and looked up to the sky – ever changing in those moments, a myriad of watercolour; strokes being brushed, swaying this way and that, before my very eyes.

The Reality of Motherhood

The Reality of Motherhood

Motherhood pounced on me after an unplanned pregnancy back in 2013, when we welcomed our wonderful baby boy into the world quite calmly just three weeks before my 25th birthday.

An 18-Hour Coach Trip

An 18-Hour Coach Trip

A simple act of kindness can go a long way. But similarly, a harsh word or an insult can go even further, maybe even haunting someone until their last day. I'm currently watching Thirteen Reasons Why: a Netflix drama about a 17 year-old girl who committed suicide. And...

Be Careful What You Pray For…

Be Careful What You Pray For…

They say be careful what you wish for. I say, be careful what you pray for. I am learning every single day the enormity of the love that God has for me. But when I tell you it is through struggle and fear and gut wrenching inner turmoil that His love presents itself,...

Time Flies

Time Flies

I think it hit me the other day when I was speaking to my elder sister on Facetime and she handed the phone to my eldest nephew, her son. In the 6 months that I’ve been in Mauritius and haven’t seen my family in person, he has grown. Not just grown, but...

Five-Minute Freedom

Five-Minute Freedom

I love spending time alone. I always have; ever since being a small curly-haired little girl drawing pictures of her daddy in coloured crayons to today, being a 28-year-old woman (hair more of a frizzy, humidified mess) who desperately yearns for just a few stolen...

Three-Day Depression

Three-Day Depression

Just a few days ago I was feeling crap. Like really, totally, utterly crap – a way I hadn’t felt in quite a long time. Times like this are quite rare for me now, especially since my life took a whole new turn and I found God and the path I had yearned for, maybe even...

The Honour of Being a Mother

The Honour of Being a Mother

Bringing life into this world is an experience that I can barely even put into words. Even now, when I think of the two times I have been blessed enough to grow life inside me and allow it to pass through me into this life, I cannot help but allow the emotions to...

2016

2016

  So here we are again. On the first day of a whole new year. At the beginning of 2016, I began something that I hadn’t done in years: I started keeping a journal again. Yesterday, on the final day of 2016, I looked back over the words and emotions that had spilled...

Somewhere on a Park Bench

Somewhere on a Park Bench

Here I am, sitting on a park bench in the country that is my new home. The rustling of the trees, the hypnotic crashing sounds of the waterfall just behind me along with the sweetest birdsong, sends shivers down my spine: I feel peace. True peace. I think of my life...

Another One on the Way

Another One on the Way

…aaaand, exhale. It’s been one of those days – or one of those weeks, really – where I am absolutely exhausted from running around after my 2 and a half-year-old. I just don’t understand where he gets the energy from; to run around causing havoc and on the opposite...

He Found Me Lost

He Found Me Lost

To find your way, you must first lose your way. And when I tell you I was lost, I was so, so lost. You see, they brought me up telling me I was this religion and this is how we do things. They told me not to do this and not to do that, and to be ever fearful. They...

Transform

Transform

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." ~ C.G. Jung This quote...

Hidden Ego

Hidden Ego

This past week or so, has been extremely reflective. I am learning more and more everyday about the subtleties of the ego and how they arise without us even being aware. Sometimes the ego presents itself as as a need to be right; sometimes as the need to give an...

Journey Home. 

Journey Home. 

Some days nothing is more difficult than the battle being fought within yourself. Where your thoughts and ideas are at war with your beliefs and ideologies. Where all of a sudden you find yourself questioning everything you have ever known to reach a place where there...

Dark Spring

Dark Spring

It was like the whole world had gone dark. Not just the kind of darkness you get when the moon rises and the world falls asleep, but the kind of darkness which sneaks into every single nook and cranny and wound and open crevice of your bruised and battered soul. Not...

The Wound is Where the Light Enters You

The Wound is Where the Light Enters You

I prayed to be destroyed; to be ruined; for everything I have ever known to be shattered into a million unrecognisable pieces - in order for me to know You. So how can I complain, when all I have prayed for is slowly but surely coming true?

Superheroes, Water Bugs and Dragonflies

Superheroes, Water Bugs and Dragonflies

Today, a gorgeous 3-year-old superhero with a golden mane of angelic curls, a soul even more beautiful and a spirit so strong it could take on the world, was laid to rest. I attended his church memorial service and it was the first time I had ever been to such an...

2 Years Plus 9 Months

2 Years Plus 9 Months

My darling baby boy, Another year has flown by and here we are. You're 2 years old! The thought that I would be writing this sitting atop your hospital bed never crossed my mind however, but as much as I wished you wouldn't have to spend your 2nd birthday in a...

One Human Race

One Human Race

Last night, I watched a documentary about the Ku Klux Klan‬. I think we all know that they are blatantly and quite proudly racist as hell, but seriously, looking deeper in, some of their ideologies are actually absurd. As they marched the streets shouting "white...

uncomfortable familiarity.

uncomfortable familiarity.

When you feel like you do not really belong anywhere here, remember ultimately you do not belong to this world.  You have come from and are returning to so much more. Keep faith.

echoes in the night.

echoes in the night.

In the silence of the night I hear the naked echoes of my soul as it leaves my body to speak to You It is the most natural thing I have ever known Me returning to You I am always returning to You Because without You I cannot be found And without You I cannot be saved...

Does Your Family Really Know You?

Does Your Family Really Know You?

There is so much noise all around me. The children are playing and a loud giggle bursts through the air every few moments; the teenage boys are sat in their spot talking amongst each other, some of them clearly attempting to make their voices sound deeper than they...

Why I Fast

Why I Fast

Last week, my fourteen-year-old nephew loudly proclaimed, “I can’t wait for Ramadan! Samosas, pakoras… all that nice food!”. I smiled, and looked at him. “Ramadan isn’t all about that nice food though darling,” I said. “Do you know why we actually fast?” He looked at...

Proximity

Proximity

It is in those times: the times when your soul is in anguish, screaming out for a saviour, crying out for someone, anyone, to run to you and bring back those long lost broken pieces of your heart... And it is in those times: the times when your soul is free and...

Sunday Thoughts

Sunday Thoughts

It's just, sometimes you can't help but wonder where things went wrong - trust me, I know. The lovers that left... the friends that showed their true colours... the family that turned their backs. All of those people that promised you forever, but disappeared in the...

My Mauritian Adventure

My Mauritian Adventure

This week I return to England – or the homeland, as I like to call it. It is a feeling so very bittersweet; excitement yet heavy-heartedness, both at the same time. On one hand I will be reunited with all of my family, especially my mum, who I haven’t seen in the last...

Rebirth Struggles.

Rebirth Struggles.

Every single day, He tests me. He brings out things from the deepest depths of me, which I didn't even know existed: good and bad. Sometimes it's such a struggle - the struggle with yourself. But there's one thing I must always keep in mind: blessed are the ones who...

I choose Love.

I choose Love.

I chose to walk this way because I want to walk this way: a path laid with thorns and roses, where to experience the beauty I must get pricked, before I eventually reach the Light. You see, I choose to want a life where I feel every single sorrow in order to feel...

21st Century Noah’s Ark

21st Century Noah’s Ark

Today I watched the movie Noah. It’s a very rare occurrence that I ever get to watch a movie in peace anymore; what, with a 1 year old that doesn’t sleep very well and hasn’t slept very well since he was born. But these are the joys of motherhood: sacrificing your own...

An Alien Conversation

An Alien Conversation

Today I had an extremely deep conversation... about aliens. So there we were, my husband and I, sitting across from each at the kitchen table, bright streaks of Mauritian sunshine streaming in through the window, enjoying breakfast together in those few stolen moments...

Broken Glass

Broken Glass

Today I broke a glass. It wasn’t just any old glass though. For those of you who know me, you’ll know that I have a little henna and henna product business called Beyond Henna. I’d been working hard on a customer order for a lady all the way in Qatar; she’d asked for...

Death by Masseuse

Death by Masseuse

Today I went for a massage. I lay there face down on the massage table, cheek pressed a little too firmly against the towel cushioning my head, or cushioning my face as it really was, and my mind began to wander. I know the whole point of getting a massage is to...

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