So here we are again. On the first day of a whole new year.
At the beginning of 2016, I began something that I hadn’t done in years: I started keeping a journal again. Yesterday, on the final day of 2016, I looked back over the words and emotions that had spilled out of me through ink over the course of the year – and I realised, that to be the person that I wish to be, I still have such a long way to go.
2016 has literally been one of the quickest years of my life. I actually cannot believe how quick this year has gone by. It feels like only yesterday that I was writing down my goals for the year in multi-coloured pens, when in actual fact it has been a whole 365 days. I’m happy because some of those goals were achieved, while I’m still waiting to fulfill others – which I will, I promise!
With the passing of so many celebrities this past year, all I’ve been seeing on social media over the past week or so is how 2016 was a horrendous year and how it just needs to end; how certain other celebrities need to be hidden away so 2016 can’t take them away too – but do people honestly believe that people won’t die in 2017 too??? Lol. This past year, putting aside the celebrity deaths for a moment, I have known of so many young people that have passed away, people around my own age and even younger – people that I have known, known of or met. There have been so many times this year that death has been thrust in my face reminding me that each day my human body is only getting older (I just turned 28… 28! shock horror face) and death is literally just a second away.
Just very recently, a beautiful girl that I knew passed on to the next world – she lived with a disability and in a wheelchair, but she honestly lived her life so fully and happily with a kind word for everyone, all of the time. Her death was so sudden and left so many people shocked, me included, as I had just been watching her Snapchat story from earlier on in the day, on the day that she passed away. It just shows that we are all just mere travellers in this life, and in any given moment, any given moment, our journey here could end.
This past year was another big year for me, and for my little family. We set up a new business, moved COUNTRIES, set up our home and just as the year was drawing to a close, we welcomed the fourth member of our little clan into the world, our little princess. It’s been crazy! But so, so blessed. Personally, I set some things in motion such as starting my YouTube channel which I had been wanting to do for so long and began to focus on my art much more; however pregnancy, moving country, taking care of a toddler and having just had a baby, these things have had to take a back seat for the moment, but I have promised myself they will be moving forward very soon.
Many lessons were learnt this year and I’m still uncovering many others. Mainly, that life is short and we must take risks; people will not always treat you like you would treat them; expectation is the basis of all disappointment; never play the victim card; always trust your gut instinct (that sixth sense is there for a reason!) and bloody hell, goddam LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO LIVE IT.
Spiritually, I feel my Lord with me, He is always with me but I know and especially just over the last couple of days, I have realised I still have such a long, long way to go to fully attain His light. There are so many situations from my past that I have discovered I have still not fully accepted, grieved over or moved on from, so this year I wish to step back in time, delve into that pain fully and transform it and myself into something much, much better. Only then can I truly BE and only then, can I truly reach my Lord.
I know the clock striking midnight and the mere changing of a date isn’t something that we should wait for to make a much-needed change, but for many people the entire world over that second that the clock hits twelve signifies so much more than just time. It brings hope, new strength and self-belief and if that is what people need to live the life they wish to live, then so be it.
Happy 2017 everyone – may it be a year filled with everything that is good for you and all that is best for you.