A Resignation, Synchronicities & Lessons Learnt

Some days I feel like I’m in a dream, watching myself going through the motions of each day, knowing that even though I am in this world, I am not of it; I’m just passing through and soon enough, I will be returning elsewhere. Other days, I feel ensnared by the trappings of society while the world crawls somewhere deep under my skin, feeling things so deeply and so intensely that sometimes it seems easy to forget I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and not the other way round. It’s been a pretty heavy mix of both in these last few months since I resigned from a job that I absolutely loved, because of the clash it was having with my morals and ethics – and I guess this blogpost, as with a lot of my blogposts, is me just getting a lot of thoughts and feelings out of my system while I collate everything together for myself in one place, in order to make sense of it all. Join me, if you like.

A Dream Job

So, in February this year (2019), I joined a company running a digital media project called SuperSisters, aimed at young Muslim women, where I was taken on as social media manager and video producer. A job that I know was meant to come to me, and which brought me a lot of joy, yet many tests and lessons along with it.

I can’t even express to you how absolutely perfect this role seemed for me, in many different ways. I was doing all of the things that I am so absolutely passionate about: video production, writing, social media management, presenting, public speaking and more, and I couldn’t believe that finally, there was a job that seemed tailor-made specifically for me – and I was getting paid for it!

This is the first time I had been employed since I was pregnant with my son, around 7 years ago, having been working for myself for all of that time. In that time, as you know, I’ve been on this hugely spiritual, intense journey of awakening, so returning to the world of work was kind of a big deal for me. Not only had I changed a lot, but the world around me had changed a lot too, especially with the rise and takeover of social media. Also, working for yourself and raising little humans means that those few people are the ones that you spend most of your days with and around, so being around other people all of a sudden (and all the baggage that comes with them!) was a bit of a shock to the system to say the least, especially when those people are not on a similar path to you or aligned with your values and beliefs.

The thing with the project (that I later on ended up being the manager of) is that it was funded under a programme called BSBT (Building a Stronger Britain Together), which is a governmental counter-extremism agenda, run by the Home Office. This was something I never felt comfortable with, yet time and time again, I would push these niggling feelings aside because of how much I was loving and passionately enjoying the work that I was doing. I allowed the reasoning given to me by the managers and my colleagues there in regards to the funding, get into my head, and I kind of forced myself to believe what they were saying, even though deep down inside of myself, I knew that it was wrong. I guess I allowed it for so long, genuinely because I enjoyed it so much.

The Shit Hit the Fan

Working for this company was never going to be a permanent thing for me; it was always an interim thing as we got back up on our feet, after returning to England from our new home Mauritius, only to end up staying and settling here in London again. It just happened to be that this interim thing ended up being something that I absolutely loved. As I continued on working with this company, these niggling feelings that something wasn’t right just seemed to get stronger and stronger and although I had in my head that I was going to get out and leave soon, I just never seemed to get around to it. That was until the shit hit the fan and every sign and symbol that was coming my way, was the Universe’s way of telling me it was time to move on.

So, on 19^th August 2019, exactly 6 months to do the day I joined the team, right in the middle of an Internet shit storm, I officially resigned from this job that I loved, despite not 100% wanting to, because I knew that this was the right and only thing to do.

I write this now as we approach November (2 and a half months since I resigned), and I can happily put my hand on my heart and say that this was the completely right decision and one that I do not regret.

Lessons Learned/Reinforced/Still Being Discovered

I learnt so much through this experience, about myself, about other people, about the ways of the Universe and God’s plans, and also came to solidify a vision of the purpose I know that I have to complete here in my earthly life journey so I am very, very thankful.

Here are some of the lessons I took away from working for the SuperSisters platform that I want to remind myself of, and share with you today:

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1. Trust your journey and know that every single part of it comes to you as a lesson, a blessing or a stepping stone to the next part – in this instance, the SuperSisters journey had to happen for me to teach me some valuable skills for my own projects, yet at the same time to teach me hard and important lessons for my own personal growth

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2. If you are around people whose energies don’t sit right with you or you don’t feel aligned with, trust those feelings and know that you do not need such people to validate you, your existence or your skills. All of that needs to come from within you, no matter who or what you’re around.

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3. When something doesn’t feel right, it ain’t right, fam! Even if you’re enjoying where you are and what you’re doing – if there are uncomfortable feelings about ANYTHING, that isn’t a place you need to be.

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4. Social media is NOT REAL. Wow. Through SuperSisters, I caught glimpses into the lives of those who see themselves as social media ‘influencers’ and saw a little insight into the Hijabi modest fashion world, and honestly, nothing is what it seems. A lot of people portray themselves very far from the truth, online. There is so much ego, so much immodesty, so much self-worship, so much importance placed on online personas… it’s just a bit of a mess to be honest, and something that I am truly grateful I no longer need to be around or involved in.

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5. When you make a decision and do not act upon it, God has a way of shaking your world up to force you down the road that is going to take you to your ultimate destination – even if it’s a road you don’t want to go down.

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6. When God takes something from you, He always replaces it with something better. I’m not going to say too much on this from a personal perspective, but I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself. Miracles happen in my life every single day and the week that I resigned from SuperSisters, God truly made His presence and His power be known. I am so, so grateful.

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7. Vision boards are truly powerful things. I created a vision board at the beginning of 2019 and honestly, the amount of things on it that have happened/are happening or are on the way, is mind-blowing. A lot of things that I put on my vision board – such as travelling and public speaking – happened through SuperSisters, so I 100% know and trust that the SuperSisters experience was a vital part of my life experience, and it had to happen.

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8. People will walk all over you – if you give them the power to do so. Have integrity, self-belief and stand up for what you know is right, even if you stand alone. People will hate you, turn you into a monster, block/unfollow you on social media (lol), but truth is truth, regardless – and their issues are their issues, it’s nothing to do with you.

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9. God always provides. He always provides.

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10. People will only want to know you when they think you’re a ‘somebody’, or when they know they can get something from you. As soon as you’re no longer a ‘somebody’ in their eyes, then that’s it – bottom of the pile for you! This has been a pretty hard lesson to learn if I’m honest with you, but a very, very important one.

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11. Finally, don’t ever give up on yourself or your dreams. As much as the ending of this experience impacted me, it also gave me so much fire, passion and determination to make MY dreams come true. I know I am not here to work for anyone else. I am here to do my thing, live my purpose, make my dreams come true and be of true service to humanity. And it’s happening people – God willing, it is happening, and I am so very excited.

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Finally…

Everything happens for a reason and I am at a stage in my life where I believe in these words more strongly than I ever have before. SuperSisters was an incredible experience and like you already know, I loved it. I met some truly amazing people through it, did amazing things and genuinely overall, just had a blast. I have no ill feelings towards anyone there, even if they don’t feel the same way about me, and I am really grateful for the opportunities, the experiences and most of all, the lessons learned.

So there we go! Chapter closed, already writing the next. 2020 – here we come.🙏🏼✨💛

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