Somewhere on a Park Bench.

Here I am, sitting on a park bench in the country that is my new home.

The rustling of the trees, the hypnotic crashing sounds of the waterfall just behind me along with the sweetest birdsong, sends shivers down my spine: I feel peace. True peace.

I think of my life in this moment, and every moment prior that has brought me to this. The heartbreaks, tears, pain; friends lost and gone; years gone by of days that felt like yesterday… I think of the good times, the joyful times, the times where I laughed so hard that nothing else in the world mattered. I think of the years that brought me crashing to my knees, when my whole life flipped upside down, when my heart bled with every beat it took and when everything that I knew evaporated before my eyes. I think of the darkness. And then I think of the light.

The light that took me in and enveloped me, cradling me with more than the love of a mother. The light that filled every empty nook and crevice of my life, the same light that blinded me only to give me new eyes. The Light is with me, everywhere I go – inside me, inside my heart and deeply embedded in my soul. It’s the one thing that together we are all made of, yet many of us choose to remain sleeping in the dark.

I am so deeply, deeply grateful in this moment – with the signs of Light and life all around me – for the darkness that took me in and broke me. I am so grateful for every single moment and every single memory that brought me to this. For everything… that brought me to this.

– Sabah Ismail, somewhere on a park bench 08.11.16